my princess was so tired after all the family when home after christmas


A little city break to Budapest with my Boyfriend was just what i needed, although now i am feeling the pressure of assignment deadlines. But for four days i could explore a new city, soak up the culture, and even catch some rays.

Walking round the city was a great start to get our bearings, followed by Claustrophilla. That was insane! The idea is going into a room and trying to figure out how to get back out again. I would highly recommend everyone to go. Not going to say to much about what we did, and the puzzles we had to figure out, as that would spoil the fun.

The zoo is one of the oldest in Europe. I thought it was fantastic to experience the zoo however it was a really hot day so i felt for the animals who weren't meant for such a warm climate. Out of all the animals i think my favourite were the giant alligators and the giant anteater as i have never seen one before!

My boyfriend and i spent all morning wandering round the zoo and spent all afternoon relaxing at the spa. it was amazing dipping in and out of all the natural spring filled pools, the hottest being 36 degrees and the lowest being 16 degrees, having a sauna and steam in between we definitely enjoyed ourselves, with a lovely walk back at sunset, how romantic.

If there's ones thing that i love its food, and the street food and beers, were amazing, we went to a fair few of the ruin bars which are located all over the Jewish district, the feel good vibes and attitude made them so charming, with like minded locals and other tourists. We had trouble finding all of them but this was half the fun having them hidden away, and it is an amazing project funded by the art community to prevent the building from being torn down, i just hope that this unique way of keeping history alive could be transferred to the UK,

Going in April 2015, it was always going to be chancing with the weather, but luckily it was amazing all the time we were there, only needed a light jacket in the evenings, except when we were leaving to go to the airport, when it poured down with rain, i guess it was the weather Gods preparing us for the the cold weather back in England.

A New School Year A New Placement.

I am now in my second year our of a three year course, I am back in practice, new assignment and new skills to be learnt. Once again i am out in the community going to patients houses, not with the district nurses but with the Palliative Care Team. A team of specialist nurses to provide support and advice for those who will never get better.

Not only is it cancer patients but dementia, Motor Neuron Disease (MND) and many more which i haven't come across on my travels. Being a 24 year old dealing with death and dying everyday has been hard, but not as hard as some of the family members are coping without any help wanting to create the best death possible for their loved one. Best death? that may be something you may think is crazy but really its not. What it means it making sure that they dying person has no pain, is comfortable and is where they want to be, whether its at home in a hospice or even in the hospital.

When i started with this placement i wasn't sure how i would get on, but they skills i have learnt are priceless, and being able to reflect with my mentor after every visit has meant that i can ask those awkward questions that you wouldn't want to say in front of a patient, by awkward questions i mean the anatomy questions about how the cancer is growing and spreading, something most people don't wish to discuss, some are still in denial and think that it'll pass and they will recover. Personally i have found these patients the most upsetting, because by not accepting an dealing with what is happening they are robbing themselves of the time that they have left.

From all the patients that i have seen so far they have all given me the same advice, firstly, do what you want, don't wait till you're older. This was regarding things like travelling and seeing the world, "do it while you're young and can enjoy it". And secondly, don't get old, which is something i think we all wish that we could stop. But both of these words of wisdom are valid. Why put off tomorrow when you could do today?

Mediterranean sweet potato

This is my favourite quick vegan glut on free dinner, and if you want meat just marinade chicken in the same spices as the chick peas

rather than type it (and risk people thinking it my own when its not) i have got the direct link, have a look at their other recipes i think they are amazing, As a meat eater i love how their food is so simple and delicious and definitely don't need any meat. (but if like me you burn the chick peas it makes a nice alternative)

A whole lot of worry

This morning could not of gone any worse, from the moment I woke up it all started, not what I needed on such an important day, because having to wait another year to get into uni is not part of my plan. My day started out waking up from a crazy dream that made no sense about my grandma, where i was at her house in the middle of the afternoon asking her abiut a patchwork quilt. I think it was because I went to visit her a few days ago.

I ended up getting up late as i was trying tot work out what it meant, our whether it was just one of those weird dreams to eating to much brie the day before. I had even planned my outfit in advance, this organisation which later turned out to be wasted as when i out it on this morning it made me feel frumpy, and uncomfortable. I didn't have time to sort something else out that would be suitable, because interview chic isn't something that is a running theme through my wardrobe, patterns shirts, jumpsuits and grandad jumpers maybe, but not smart. Just to note that its not all crazy clothes I do have normal things as well, but these are just items that stick out when you open my wardrobe doors.

While doing my makeup i ended up spilling foundation down myself, how I don't know but luckily it came out alright after panicing and of course running around trying to find some make up remover. For me makeup isn't a big part of my life so even doing the simplest of tasks become a problem, how much should I put on, will it look ok, do I put on lippy or just leave it as simple as possible? I came to the conclusion that less is more, and that way I won't feel silly because I won't look like I'm trying to hard.

My Mumma had to take me to my interview because the car is still not back from the shop, so i was unable to drive up prior to the interview and scope out the best places to park for future references, which meant that i had to wait for her to pick me up as getting 2 trains back to southend wasn't an option i wanted to take today. There was a ton of traffic on the A127 so we were steadily moving towards Chelmsford at what seemed a snails pace, as i was looking out the windows the drivers all looked unhappy, i guess wednesday is an unhappy day for most people. I know that its not one of my favourite days, but thats because it always seems to drag. Now while in the car my mumma's travel mug leaked all down my front, it went everywhere, i shreaked in horror thinking 'could this morning get any worse' thankfully it went on my scarf (a close call as it was too late to turn back and change).

However once I had arrived all that worry seemed to disappear, only for the nerves to kick in. The worry about what I looked like or whether I had everything I needed changed to nerves, nerves of whether I would make a good impression, nerves on whether I say the right thing. Just general nerves that the 2 people in the next room will make a decision on whether i get on to the course based on a 5 minute chat. But I kept my cool for the group interview and listened to what the other interviewees had to say, speaking up where i knew there was room to debate. Overall as a group we did really well.

For my individual interview I smashed it, i said all the right things and got all the points across that I needed about what I have been doing in the past 2 years since last applying to uni, I think they were impressed with what I have been doing. I told them all the things that i have learned from working in a care home, how i was moved to the neurological brain rehabilitation unit and all the knowledge that i picked up along the way. I told them what I wanted to do with my future, it felt good, to say what I wanted to do with my life and for it too seem like a realistic goal that I can achieve in the next 5 years.

A whole lot of worry and sleepless nights over nothing, lets hope it wasn't another wasted interview. Now to wait till may to find out whether the future I want will start this year.


So on thursday i was having some lunch, sulking mainly because my mumma had to use my car so i couldn't go for a swim that I had planned. This was annoying as with limited training time between working days not being able to train when i want means another skipped session. Now whilst eating the post came, my house mate came through and gave me a letter. Not just a letter, but the letter, the letter i didn't think i would receive until May.

So you would think that by now after a terrible year of everything going wrong, that I would be super nervous, but I wasn't. Not as nervous as I should be. So I examined the letter, thinking it was really light, which normally isn't a good sign. I went to open it carefully not to rip the content, and skimmed what was written. It took me a couple of attempts to actually take in what was written. But in a a nutshell I got a place at uni!

A Year Later..

I cannot believe that its been a year since my heart surgery (ASD closure), and what a year its been. As straightforward as it all seems emotionally its been a mess, with anxiety attacks causing a hospital admission to days of palpation's. I can finally say that i am better, not only better but back exercising! Granted its going slowly but i am getting my fitness back. Of course the weather hasn't helped, lets face it who wants to go out for a run or a bike ride after a year of nothing in the freezing British winter?  I know i don't.

I have got myself back in the gym, starting with the weights, getting into a better shape, and a booty to match. I have started doing Spin class and wow was that not what i was expecting. Well of course i knew it was going to be tough, but not as tough as it was, but that could be down to lack of fitness. After buying a sports watch with a heart monitor i feel more comfortable to push myself, as i know when it starts to hurt i can see how hard i am pushing myself. But so far no pain!

They say no pain no gain but for me this is completely wrong, if the pain comes back then i am in trouble. When i first started back at the gym i had a different pain, but it would call is more of a discomfort, and i'm sure if you have ever done weights you'll know what i mean, especially on leg day! Holy Mackerel i had forgotten what doing squats does to your legs. I couldn't sit down i couldn't stand up every way was hurting, walking like i had poo'd my pants, not a good look, but i kept going and the results are finally starting to pay off.

If its one thing i can pass on to a friend or anyone who wants to know, Its keep going, everything good is worth working for, nothing easy happens over night.

I have nearly finished my first year as a nursing student, its been an unsteady road surrounded by negativity. I have worked my butt off to study and progress academically as much as possible. Being in full time education, having placement and working whenever possible has been a struggle. However my education came first, no matter how little food i had in the fridge or little money i had in the bank, this degree comes first. So getting poor results on a assignment i spent two months writing is disheartening, seeking advice from different lecturers and librarians so that i can improve seemed like a waste of time.

Count down.

So it's only 3 days till surgery, from tomorrow I have to start washing in anti bacterial body wash and cream, something I am not looking forward to, because let's face it who wants to smell like a hospital ward? Or even feel like a sick person, I am hoping that the nurses are nice and the ward is clean. I have nearly packed my bag, which consists of socks, trashy magazines and all my hospital letters, what else can you pack in advance? I am trying not to think about the fact that it might not work or something might go wrong and I'll still have to end up having open heart surgery. 

Being able to talk to the Chaplin is a huge weight off my mind, and my boyfriend and family don't understand my woes when it comes to spirituality and the soul and my worries. So to make up for alll of this, this evening I have spent being girls and relaxing, not only have I had the luxury of a aloe Vera mud face mask but a few glasses of wine and the finale of sex and the city, I am not sure it can be any more girly than that.