A whole lot of worry

This morning could not of gone any worse, from the moment I woke up it all started, not what I needed on such an important day, because having to wait another year to get into uni is not part of my plan. My day started out waking up from a crazy dream that made no sense about my grandma, where i was at her house in the middle of the afternoon asking her abiut a patchwork quilt. I think it was because I went to visit her a few days ago.

I ended up getting up late as i was trying tot work out what it meant, our whether it was just one of those weird dreams to eating to much brie the day before. I had even planned my outfit in advance, this organisation which later turned out to be wasted as when i out it on this morning it made me feel frumpy, and uncomfortable. I didn't have time to sort something else out that would be suitable, because interview chic isn't something that is a running theme through my wardrobe, patterns shirts, jumpsuits and grandad jumpers maybe, but not smart. Just to note that its not all crazy clothes I do have normal things as well, but these are just items that stick out when you open my wardrobe doors.

While doing my makeup i ended up spilling foundation down myself, how I don't know but luckily it came out alright after panicing and of course running around trying to find some make up remover. For me makeup isn't a big part of my life so even doing the simplest of tasks become a problem, how much should I put on, will it look ok, do I put on lippy or just leave it as simple as possible? I came to the conclusion that less is more, and that way I won't feel silly because I won't look like I'm trying to hard.

My Mumma had to take me to my interview because the car is still not back from the shop, so i was unable to drive up prior to the interview and scope out the best places to park for future references, which meant that i had to wait for her to pick me up as getting 2 trains back to southend wasn't an option i wanted to take today. There was a ton of traffic on the A127 so we were steadily moving towards Chelmsford at what seemed a snails pace, as i was looking out the windows the drivers all looked unhappy, i guess wednesday is an unhappy day for most people. I know that its not one of my favourite days, but thats because it always seems to drag. Now while in the car my mumma's travel mug leaked all down my front, it went everywhere, i shreaked in horror thinking 'could this morning get any worse' thankfully it went on my scarf (a close call as it was too late to turn back and change).

However once I had arrived all that worry seemed to disappear, only for the nerves to kick in. The worry about what I looked like or whether I had everything I needed changed to nerves, nerves of whether I would make a good impression, nerves on whether I say the right thing. Just general nerves that the 2 people in the next room will make a decision on whether i get on to the course based on a 5 minute chat. But I kept my cool for the group interview and listened to what the other interviewees had to say, speaking up where i knew there was room to debate. Overall as a group we did really well.

For my individual interview I smashed it, i said all the right things and got all the points across that I needed about what I have been doing in the past 2 years since last applying to uni, I think they were impressed with what I have been doing. I told them all the things that i have learned from working in a care home, how i was moved to the neurological brain rehabilitation unit and all the knowledge that i picked up along the way. I told them what I wanted to do with my future, it felt good, to say what I wanted to do with my life and for it too seem like a realistic goal that I can achieve in the next 5 years.

A whole lot of worry and sleepless nights over nothing, lets hope it wasn't another wasted interview. Now to wait till may to find out whether the future I want will start this year.

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